Author Topic: Hmmmmmm.....  (Read 258039 times)

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Frank P.

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #705 on: March 16, 2008, 01:39:40 pm »
I haven't read all of these so read at your own risk (may contain adult material)
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1 "IF YOU CAN'T FEED EM, DON'T BREED EM!"
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2 Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.
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3 If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
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4 Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.
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5 The Earth Is Full - Go Home.
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6 I Have The Body Of A God - Buddha.
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7 So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time.
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8 Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.
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9 If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?
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10 Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.
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11 Illiterate? Write For Help.
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12 Honk If Anything Falls Off.
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Cover Me, I'm Changing Lanes.
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13 He Who Hesitates Not Only Is Lost,
But is Miles From The Next Exit.
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14 I Refuse To Have A battle of wits
With An Unarmed Person.
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15 You! Out Of The Gene Pool - Now!
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16 I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To.
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17 Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
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(Seen Upside Down On A Jeep)
18 If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
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19 Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph
Also Are Timed For 70 mph
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20 Guys: No Shirt, No Service
Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
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21 If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does
My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
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22 Ax Me About Ebonics.
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23 Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel.
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24 Boldly Going Nowhere.
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25 Caution - Driver Legally Blonde.
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26 Heart Attacks: God's Revenge
For Eating His Animal Friends
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27 Honk If You've Never Seen
An Uzi Fired From A Car Window.
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28 How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down
Before He Admits He is Lost?
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29 GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
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30 All Men Are Animals; Some Just Make Better Pets.
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31 "POLITICIANS & DIAPERS BOTH NEED
TO BE CHANGED OFTEN, AND FOR
THE SAME REASON"
Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

[TKC]phranz

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #706 on: March 17, 2008, 12:48:59 am »
the iq's around here are god awfull low!

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #707 on: March 17, 2008, 01:28:29 am »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #708 on: March 20, 2008, 01:25:14 am »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #709 on: March 21, 2008, 06:05:02 am »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

b00n

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #710 on: March 21, 2008, 02:45:06 pm »


ZOldDude

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*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #712 on: March 21, 2008, 11:48:58 pm »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #713 on: March 22, 2008, 11:22:04 am »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #714 on: March 22, 2008, 11:17:55 pm »
Strong malted beer...
Quote
[ Scene: swanky cocktail party ]

[ Coldcock Spokesman enters the room with two beautiful girls at his side ]

Spokesman: You know, when I entertain, occasionally my friends and I like to discuss just what is the best malt licquor.

Girl #1: I say Bull.

Girl #2:I say Cobra.

Spokesman: And I say it's all just talk. Unless it's the one they call.. Coldcock.

[ cut to Man at Party standing near piano ]

Man at Party: There's only one malt licquor that'll get your head humming.

Spokesman: [ enters ] Coldcock's the one you'll never see coming. [ opens can and hands it to the Man at Party ]

[ Man at Party sips Coldcock, then holds it in front of him. Suddenly, an animated arm jumps off of the can and punches the Man in the chin ]

Man at Party: [ reeling ] Pro-per!

Partygoers: [ whispery ] Coldcock!

Spokesman: I have yet to meet the man that can finish a whole Coldcock can.

Woman at Party: [ steps forward ] I ain't afraid of no can of beer! Give me one! [ sips the malt licquor ] Mmm.. Coldcock.. [ the arm jumps off the can and socks her in the jaw ] Ooh..! You one malt licquor picker!

Spokesman: Like I said - it's all just talk, unless it's the one they call Coldcock. [ takes a sip of his own, then flinches upon expecting the punch. He smiles at his own cunning, as the arm finally jumps off the can and punches him hard across his chin ] Fan-tas-tic.. [ slowly drops to the floor ]

Announcer: Coldcock. You never see it coming.

Spokesman: [ raises head up from the floor ] Damn. That's one strong malt licquor. [ drops his head to the floor again ]

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

Frank P.

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #715 on: March 23, 2008, 07:11:46 am »
Being Australian is about driving in a German car to an Irish pub for a Belgian beer, and then travelling home, grabbing an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab on the way, to sit on Swedish furniture and watch American shows on a Japanese TV.

Bellend

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #716 on: March 24, 2008, 11:19:16 am »

ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #717 on: March 25, 2008, 12:21:11 am »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*

b00n

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #718 on: March 26, 2008, 10:38:13 pm »


ZOldDude

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Re: Hmmmmmm.....
« Reply #719 on: March 27, 2008, 09:47:47 pm »

*While we crash and burn, small, low tech, agrarian societies such as the Hmong in the mountains of Laos will continue on without so much as blinking an eye.*